Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
