We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
