i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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