I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize