I feel like I'm in dance class right now
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
