CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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