im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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