So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
