I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
