That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
this hospital has no fireball
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
