STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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