What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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