BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
