"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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