It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
