Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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