We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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