i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
