why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
