In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
