super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
