Porn is love you can see.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
