I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
