Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
