i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
