why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
