Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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