i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
