I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
