About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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