dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
