And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
