I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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