White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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