What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
