you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
