Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
