it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
