Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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