i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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