One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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