I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
