There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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