Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
