Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
