mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize