And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
