We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We talked him into tasing himself.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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