what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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