she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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