How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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