I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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