That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
