weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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