I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
