Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
