'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
