Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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